Overcoming Average

“Be motivated by the fear of being average.”

As medical students, it is not easy feeling average. Many of us were told during undergraduate that we must be far greater than average to make it to medical school. We must dig deep, study hard, and embrace all the clichés of a hardworking, well-rounded college student. When we did well, our systems of support reminded us of our outstanding abilities and told us we would be successful if we kept working hard. And I believed that.

I had done well through high school and undergrad. I did well enough on my MCAT.  During my four years of undergrad, I focused on service and leadership development and  was so excited when I was accepted to medical school during my first application cycle.  While I knew I wasn’t going to be at the top of my large and talented medical school class, I wanted to be above average. I was shooting for the top one third. But after the first exam cycle, I found myself right where I did not want to be: average.

I felt lost for a while.  I found that I carried this newfound “average” title with me everywhere: into lectures, the cadaver lab, my preceptor’s office, even the study room. My grades were only available to myself and some faculty, but I could not get over this label that only myself, a few professors, and the select group of peers I shared by grades with knew about. I dreaded studying, worried I would do even worse the next time around. I questioned my abilities to learn and do well in such a fast-paced environment. I asked myself who would want an “average” physician taking care of them, their children, their loved ones? This new label shook my whole perception of myself and I felt lost on where to go next. I spent a lot of time questioning if belonged here.

For many of us, we spent the majority of our lives described as “exceptional learners” or told we had “infinite potential.” But all this previous encouragement was completely overshadowed when I reached medical school. Here, everyone is exceptional, talented, and overflowing with potential. On my campus, my peers are driven, passionate, intelligent, and full of amazing experiences, so in my first months of medical school it felt very easy to lose sight of my past and current successes to the overwhelming averageness I felt because of my exam scores in comparison to the phenomenal future physicians I sat in class with every day. 

Instead of wallowing in self-pity and feeling sorry for myself, which I admittedly did for a week or two, I started to talk to others. I spoke with my professors to see how I could best study the material and asked for supplemental content suggestions. I had conversations with family members and close friends, who reminded me of my strengths both in and out of the classroom. I finally spoke with physician mentors who I view as excellent conduits of patient focused care. They all reported the same thing: medical knowledge is the cornerstone to good care, but do not forget about the importance of compassion, kindness, and relationships.

I am still surrounded by incredibly intelligent medical students every day, but I now know I bring a lot to the classroom, too. I am a compassionate and motivated advocate for health care access and I know I will be the same advocate for my patients in the future. I work hard to master the material I am taught, and I value the education I am receiving. And I know that I was accepted to be a member of the Class of 2022 for a reason, just like my exceptional and far from average classmates.