Openness to New Interactions

College is a tricky social scene to navigate. Growing up, many of us stay in the same town, and the people and the places become pretty familiar and comfortable after 18 years. Despite coming from a large graduating class of 724 myself, there were barely a handful of names that I did not recognize.

Then college thrusted me into a new environment. From the moment I stepped into my dorm, there were new faces everywhere. Moving in was a scary and overwhelming process to walk up to strangers, get past the standard name, hometown, major, dorm introductions, and keep an open, genuine conversation going. But I made it through that phase pretty quickly and was able to navigate all of the social events during orientation.

Currently, my close group of friends are all premeds. I could play it cool, as if I met these individual people through unique experiences and they just happened to be studying the same subjects as me, but that’s not the reality! I met most of them during my freshman year through molecular biology lab, or office hours for organic chemistry. In addition to taking pretty much the same classes, my premed friends and I have similar extracurricular pursuits, from journal clubs to service groups.

Part of me feels content to not leave my bubble. Midway into my freshman year, I remember shuddering at the thought of awkwardly branching out to meet strangers who were different from me. But a bigger, growing part of me wondered what it would be like if I worked to break free from the bubble, or at least poke a few holes in it to slip my toes out for a bit.

Why are many of us drawn to groups of people just like ourselves? I think that a large reason I stopped trying to meet new people from differing groups is because there was empathy, comfort, and convenience to be found in sharing common experiences. Collaborations on group projects, laughing at funny memes online in the library, and sitting together in the dining halls all blended together. It was so much easier to imagine how rough my friends’ day was if I had the same brutal 2-hour midterm and chaotic student organization meeting. It was way simpler to talk about the mountains of debt headed my way for a graduate education when medical school was on the table for all of us. Discussing important future life events is that much more simplified when everybody recognizes that they might be close to 30 before things begin to slow down.

At college now, when I meet someone who has a different major or interests from me, I am learning to be open-minded. For starters, I have begun participating in the Ballroom, Latin and Swing Team, where I’ve met extremely talented student performers (most of whom share very different academic interests). It has been refreshing to take a break and tango with people who know nothing about the whirlwind of my previous 12 hours. I have also taken on the role of a resident assistant on the executive advisory board at Northwestern, where I help institute policies that improve the safety and memorable community-building experiences for students living on campus. This has proved to be a powerful way to broaden my commitment to understanding and supporting others who may be living very different everyday experiences at college.

Although it is a gradual process, I am working to find opportunities to hear others’ stories—and if they need support in a way that I can provide, I may get the chance to be someone’s “different” friend. I think that this approach is extremely relevant not only to the premed undergraduate experience, but also the road to medicine. While it’s easy to become comfortable with patients who have similar experiences or connections to your background, it is so incredibly important to be an active listener to each patient and welcome their identities.