Is there a right residency program for me?

One would think that after having successfully completed so many application cycles to get to the point of applying to residency, that I would have felt prepared as if it had become routine. But for some reason, the familiar feelings of anxiety and trepidation settled in as soon as I began to fill out the form and to brainstorm my personal statement. I spent hours deeply exploring questions such as, what have I really accomplished over the last four years? Who am I and how do I convey all my complicated thoughts and life decisions into a short, coherent narrative?

In some ways, the process of applying to and ultimately matching at a residency program is more serious and adult-like than getting into college or medical school. First, the match is a legally binding algorithm. Unlike medical school admissions, we would not have the final say on where to attend. For me, the duration of my next journey will be far longer than any of my previous commitments, as cardiothoracic surgery residency is eight years in total. And this part of the journey will be not only the final part of my education, but also the most influential and formative aspect of my growth into a competent physician. My commitment to a specialty and my colleagues will be life-long, which made this decision truly life-altering.

There is no single right way to approach the process. I relied on gut-instinct, but I also knew of many colleagues who made excel spreadsheets with complicated formulas. I spent many days visiting numerous facilities and interviewing with faculty members and other residents. I hoped that there would be some unmistakable sign or the proverbial writing on the wall telling me that this place, and no other, is the obvious choice that would bring me to my goals and turn me into the person whom I wish to become.

But alas, there were no such signs, and perhaps more importantly, I realized that I didn’t need to find the “best” program to succeed – that several were a good fit for me and my goals. In retrospect, now that I’m in residency, the most important lesson I learned from going through this process, ironically, has nothing to do with the process itself, but rather has everything to do with simple awareness – that no matter where I ended up, it is I who ultimately decides who to become and what to accomplish. Sometimes, in endlessly comparing programs in search of the “best” option, it is easy to forget that the differences among programs are minute compared to the potency of the motivation and work ethic that we bring to the table. Whether we end up matching at our first choice or our fifth choice, the trajectory of our careers depends on our mindset and attitude.

Intrinsic, and not extrinsic, factors are the harbingers of our success.  So, instead of asking ourselves which program is the best for our training, why don’t we begin to ask ourselves, what can we do to make the most of our time and resources wherever we end up?