Dear Me at 18

It’s 2011, and you’re in the first few weeks of college.

You’ve just had this wonderfully lazy last summer of childhood. No summer will be quite like that again. Every summer after will be filled with “adult things.” (But don’t worry, you’ll always find time to feel like a kid again—like blasting music in your room and dancing, curling up next to Mom on the couch, or running errands with Dad.)

So how do I know all of that? Well—I’m you. A little older and I’d like to think a little wiser. (But a version of us that’s older than me is probably laughing as she reads that sentence…) I’m 26 and in my last year of medical school. (Yes, somehow, we have made it to our last year of med school!!)

The eight years that separate you and I are filled with a lot. And I mean A LOT. You’re in for one hell of a ride, kid. (And again, 40-year-old me is probably laughing as she reads this because this is only the beginning…)

Eight years is a long time. You’ll be inspired and devastated, hopeful and frustrated, unmotivated and energized, and all the emotions you can possibly think of.

And as you start this journey, I want to take the time to tell you a few things…

1. Learn what it means to take good care of yourself. This is arguably the most important thing that I can tell you. You and I both know that you are not the best at taking care of yourself. In the years to come, it’ll become trendy to talk about burnout, wellness, meditation, and self-care. But at 18, no one is telling you these things yet.

Here are some basics:

• Eat the stuff that’s good for you (you know what that is!)
• Maintain a good sleep schedule (thank God that we never got into the habit of pulling all-nighters)
• Practice yoga (you were so good at doing this in high school and then will end up totally falling off the wagon in college…)
• Have a good skincare routine (you’ll try many products over the years though I think we’re finally getting this right at 26…!)
• Carve out some quiet time to yourself everyday (with no screen in front of you and no music playing—just lay in bed, close your eyes, and let yourself be)

2. Develop good study habits. You’re lucky because you’re a good test-taker. That’s going to come in handy. But don’t get too comfortable. You’ll realize that your study methods from high school aren’t going to be enough in college. Learn how to stick to a schedule, avoid cramming, and fight the devil that is procrastination!

3. You are not your grades. I know that you know this, but it’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the 100 or 90 or 75 defines who you are. It doesn’t. Again, you’ve been lucky. You’ve always done well in school. But that means that you’re not all that great at dealing with failure. In fact, failure terrifies you. Anything below a 90 and you go into a panic because you think OMG, how am I going to get into a good med school? But college will humble you. You’ll get a 65 on your first organic chemistry exam, a 74 on your second, and a 55 on your third. You’ll walk out of the final exam fearing that you failed the class, but you won’t. I know that all sounds really scary, but I promise it’ll be ok!

4. The premed community is not the healthiest (to say the least). People work themselves to the bone trying to maintain their GPA, participate in clubs, volunteer, do research, shadow, etc. This is all in addition to making time for friends and family and sleep. At times, it can be too much.

Breathe. Be a person. At the end of college, you don’t want to feel like everything was a blur. Focus on doing things that make you feel fulfilled. Cut everything else out.

5. Never stop writing. You love to write. You always have. Never stop. You’ll realize that writing is like breathing for us. It’s something that we need to do. We’re storytellers at heart. Take every opportunity to write while you’re in college.

6. Don’t date that person or that one. You deserve the best kind of love. Don’t settle for anything less. That’s all I’ll say about that.

7. Build a great support system. One thing that you really struggle with is asking for help. You think that you can solve all of your own problems, and plus, you don’t want to “burden” anyone else with your issues.

But the truth is, you won’t always be able to solve every problem, and you’re definitely not a burden to anyone. When things get tough, please reach out. Don’t just sit there with all the pain and fear. It’s just not good for you. There are so many amazing people in your life. They love you and are there for you. Reach out to them. Don’t suffer alone.

8. Think seriously about what you really want. I know you decided you wanted to be a doctor when you were eight-years-old. It might seem like that decision is set in stone, but it’s really not. You’re 18. You’re so young. Nothing is set in stone. Not even at 26.

The truth is that you have no idea what it truly means to be a doctor yet. Like most premeds, you have an incredibly romanticized version of the profession in your mind. Take time to shadow, volunteer, and talk to practicing physicians to get a real sense of what is in store for you. And don’t be afraid to ask yourself the tough questions about what you really want.

I hope this all helps!

And what’s happening with us now?

Well, that last tip was a bit of a hint…

Two weeks into your final year of med school, you’ll make the decision that you don’t want to do a residency after graduating. I know that sounds really scary, but I want you to know that you’re a lot happier at 26 then you have been in a long time! (You’ll have to wait for another letter for the story behind this decision!)

I want you to know that there are so many incredible things ahead of us. And challenging things too. But we’ll be ok. I promise.

And I want you to know that I’m proud of you. I’m proud of us.

Take good care of yourself.

All my love,

26

P.S. Over the summer, I noticed that I have two white hairs. I can imagine your horror…!