Be Cautious. Be Confident.

When I chose to pursue a career in medicine, I was in my freshman year of college. I decided that I wanted to apply my love for science to helping people either through research or treatment. This gave me something to place all my effort toward. Having this goal in mind helped motivate me to excel in all my classes. I was consistently reassured by advisors and peers that being accepted into medical school would be no issue because of my GPA and my determination. My confidence led me to do the minimum with extracurriculars and I underestimated the MCAT. After graduating in 2015 with a 3.96 GPA, I went into my MCAT without having studied. I believed my success in my undergrad was enough for me to excel on the exam. This resulted in a score placing me in the 19th percentile.

Now graduated and without an advisor to deter me, I decided to apply hoping that medical schools would see my GPA and believe I was fit for their program. However, after applying to six schools, I was left with six rejections. I began to think “Am I in over my head?” I knew I had to reevaluate my path and slow down a bit. I decided to get a job as a phlebotomist in a hospital to get some clinical exposure. I tried to assure myself that this would be a step in the right direction. However, my self-doubt did not subside. Although I loved the opportunity to contribute to the team and interact with nurses, aids, and doctors, working in the hospital was rough. During one shift I had poor encounters with most of my patients. I was either being swung at or yelled at and fought to keep my composure to work with the next patient as if nothing had happened. Even though these incidences did not happen all the time, it was often enough to make me question if medicine was right for me.

“What has changed since I applied in 2015?” That was still the most important question I had to ask myself. Yes, I was a phlebotomist, but what else could I offer? Did I have what medical schools were looking for?  During all this, one day I went to draw a blood sample from a patient who had been stuck twice already without finding a vein. I could see that the patient was understandably aggravated, so I did my best to walk her through what I was doing and took my time. I was able to get a successful stick. She was relieved and showed her gratitude. While cleaning up my supplies, she told me, “You’d be a good doctor one day.”

I still carry that moment with me as one of the major turning points in my pursuit toward medicine. Shortly after that I started to re-prioritize my goals, I realized I cannot be the “perfect applicant”. No one can. I had to be the person I wanted to be and remember why I wanted to be a physician in the first place: to help people. I also needed to slow down, make a plan and make sure I was a better prepared applicant this time. I found more opportunities to develop and demonstrate the competencies medical schools look for by coaching football and teaching English. I also set a strict schedule to study for the MCAT and focused more on my areas that needed improvement. I made it a priority to take a practice exam every weekend for three months. This allowed me to get in the 70th percentile when I retook the exam. In this time, I also became conversationally fluent in Spanish. It took three years after graduating for me to become this person but I am glad every day that I did not enter medical school immediately. Now, as I apply for a second time, I have become more mentally mature, patient, and have developed new world views that without, would have made medical school a more difficult path. I look at my past moments of doubt as nothing more than bumps in the process because I know for sure that I want to be a physician.