A Day In My Shoes

This past summer, my feet hurt like they have never hurt before and I loved every second of it. I was in a summer program called Premedical Urban Leaders Summer Enrichment (PULSE) at Cooper Medical School, which incorporated components to volunteer and shadow physicians. It was fresh after I’d completed and defeated the monster that is Organic Chemistry Two, as well as one of my hardest semesters of college so far. After that semester, I was feeling indecisive for the first time about whether or not I wanted to continue on the path of a career in medicine. I started my summer program with very low confidence because I was ready to let what I went through during that semester define me as a student and a person.

I didn’t know what to expect when I walked out of the elevator into the ICU wearing my uniform: a black polo shirt, khakis, and black flats. I was immediately put with a team of health professionals beginning their rounds. The team consisted of an attending physician, a fellow, residents, a fourth-year medical student, a pharmacist, a nurse, and an advanced nurse practitioner (APN). They made me feel like I was a part of the team, with the attending physician even asking me questions; if I did not know the answer, I was provided with the answer. For example, when the attending physician asked me if i knew what happens when a person has a stroke, I was caught by surprise. I froze because I didn’t expect to be talked to and I thought I was there only to observe. She noticed my stunned reaction and as I was answering her, she explained to me in depth what occurs in a way that I would better understand. That was a special moment that I truly appreciated and still cherish. 

The ICU had a lot going on that day, from a family crying in the hallway because they just lost a loved one, to doctors rushing to help a patient that was coding. I even observed an emergency procedure that the fellow conducted. But one interaction that I will definitely not forget was watching the attending physician interact with a patient who had to be fed through a tube and had trouble breathing so he was given oxygen as well. He had many other complications, though he was aware enough to know what was going on.  The patient had no family that was close enough to come care for him, but the way the attending interacted with him was as if he could have been her father. She reassured him that she would take all the necessary steps to make sure he got the best care and I noticed that she was even rubbing his hand to comfort him. In my three hours there, we went through about five patients; there was a lot of standing and my choice of footwear was not practical. But the pain was worth seeing the interactions that these healthcare professionals had with their patients. They displayed genuine concern as if each patient might have been a family member. At the start of my day, I had been very discouraged and intimidated.  By the end of the day, I was shown so many reasons why a career as a doctor is my path. I cannot wait to have this experience as a physician, where I am doing everything in my power to help my patient and not only because I have to, but because I want to. As I am on this journey to my white coat, I know there will be many more times when I feel defeated, but it helps to meet others who have accomplished this long journey. Just like them, I will, too. Next time though, I will remember to wear more comfortable shoes.